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liarthere's nothing more sad than seeing someone loves that thing you stopped being ages ago. I will never go back to being that disgusting, little, unsure thing, but I can't stop lying to you.
car crashI wish I could crash in your tiny bed, after a long day at Uni. You'd creep up behind me, and hold me with your strong, spider arms, and plant kisses on my neck, and ideas of a bigger apartment in my mind.
"Some day, we'll have thirteen cats."
Scent of basic soap and tomato sauce.
AbyssNo one ever poured love in me.
Not when I was a child, they had other business to attend to, not when I became a functional member of a dysfunctional society, I'm not really pretty, and not really seductive.
It's simply hard for me to recognize when someone feels anything, but repulse for me.
There's this gaping hole in my soul I think no one can fix. Not the power of self-love, or love of others.
I'm just meant to stand here, wondering of affectionate caressing, and writing terrible poetry of miscommunicated lust. I cannot heal.
Afektivno udaljenaUlazimo u tvoj stan.
Njušim intenzivno privlačan miris cigareta tvog tate, Ronhill bijeli, pomiješan vjerojatno s tvojim bijednim pokušajem prikrivanja dima nečim cvjetnim. No, to mi nije smetalo.
Zidni sat, gradilište koje četiri ulice dalje.
Srećom, tata ti nije tu. Radi. Nešto. Negdje. Možda. Danas te ne slušam tako pažljivo, jer sam jako uznemirena. Znoj i trnci. Slatko na jeziku.
Srećom, razvukli smo kauč u dnevnom boravku i postavili najsmješnije plahte. Spustili rolete. Upalili glazbu, ne prejako, ne pretiho. Nismo navikli čuti da koža prianja uz kožu.
Boli me što ti pridajem toliko meni bitnih karakteristika. Dobar, viši nego što zbilja jesi, potišten i pun razumijevanja. Poluizmišljen si.
Sve što želimo je tu. Pretvaramo se da smo malo više zaljubljeni, malo manje nezaposleni i primjereno zagrljeni.
RomanticAm I insane for looking for you in a place with twenty thousand faces?
I made a bargain with destiny, something like, please, let him be there, let him see me, let me kiss him, and I'll do a hundred laps around the block, I'll clean my room, I will not stress about unimportant stuff.
Am I insane for being disappointed?
I made a deal no one honoured. I made a deal no one signed. You couldn't even see the stars that night from all the fireworks, not a single shooting star to seal the deal. Not even one, lonely star that could catch my peripheral vision. You could have been standing right underneath, all alone, ready to be mine. Like in a foreign film, and all we would say to each other is a song, and we're drunk on what we're becoming. All of a sudden I'm in a summer dress, and you're blinded by the Sun. The scent of winter changing into a summer dream appears.
Am I insane for expecting a year filled with something more than self-loathing and sitting in my room, and locking myself
Nothing means everything to meI think about you way more than I should.
I don't even know you, and you must think I'm ugly, but you smiled so genuinely at me that one time, when I was ever so impolitely staring.
You're in my stories, now, and you make me terrifyingly happy when I see you, out in the streets, waiting in line, pondering, because I'm remembering every time I imagined kissing you.
end it, bitchHave you ever had one of those moments where the inevitable future just crashes into your consciousness, and you can't stop seeing what you'll become for the seven hundredth time, and you can't ever fill the vacuoles that the forthcoming memories left in you?
I just know what I end up in every possible scenario.
I just know where I end up in every possible scenario.
Still here. Still as in ages ago.
I just know how I end up in every possible scenario.
By my own hand.
I just know why I end up in every possible scenario.
I never try. Not in one of those stories. I always quit. I always fail. I lose. I lost me.
Case of HorrorsWhat's most terrifying about ANXIETY is that it's not real, and it's not really me, it's a part of my brain that doesn't work properly, it's an illness, and it can be treated.
Still, more than anything, more than being crazy, I fear my anxiety being cured, I fear what it could possibly be like being sane, I fear the vast unknown of nonthreatening traffic lights and casual conversations.
I handle my crazy, I know the loopholes, I know the safe ways to reach food, office supplies, and vodka. I know when to keep my head down, and how not to impress anyone. Being unnoticed, and melancholically mediocre, while having every interaction tinted with the mild stench of throwing up. If I'm sane, everything changes.
Stuck in a vicious circle, where I'm paralyzed with this fear of not being afraid.
My SunlightYou are my sun,
My only light,
As you fade,
The moon is there,
A memory of you,
Of the darkness,
Before your dawn.
You are the breeze,
That kisses my face,
Those tender lips,
That rushing embrace.
You are the grass,
Beneath my feet,
You hide my tears,
You support my weight.
You are the last,
One for me,
There was many before,
But they were never the same.
With you its right,
With you its love,
And if tonight,
I come above.
I'll see your glory,
From the moon,
From the memory,
Of this afternoon.
Puppet String SymphonyHere come the snares,
wrenching at my heart;
like my tongue can’t find the words to say.
I've been resurrecting your skeletons,
just to place broken flesh over it and watch it all decay…
…scratching at freshly picked scars and rose petals,
while digging up old habits and hatchets;
just so I can whistle a tune so tragic.
Here comes the wind,
stomping at my lungs;
like my emotions are gasping to be released.
I've been coughing up your cover-ups,
just to place my index finger over it and watch it all cease…
…living in this darkness, sulfur-tipped match tossed in the breeze,
while thinking it’s just not worth the candle;
just so I can hum a song you can’t handle.
Here come the keys,
playing at my mind;
like all eighty-eight demons and angels serving one star.
I've been worshipping my self-inflicted headache,
two times twelve and that’s how many bars…
…I've got to show you the color I feel.
When the puppet string symphony beg
About ArtA sweet poem,
All but a
For the true art called
I PromiseIt is a painful thought
To know he kissed you,
To know he stole your innocence.
He felt the warmth and comfort of your love,
But manipulated it to lust
And turned that perfect smile I now see,
Into a lifeless vessel
That gave into his
Carefully painted words
He had you
Before I ever knew you,
I'm sorry I wasn't there,
I'm sorry I could not save you.
But look up at me now, love,
Look up at me with those astonishing, crystal eyes
And know that I will love you
Until this heart of mine has given out.
I am your present
And your future;
I will love you for more than your body,
I will love your wild personality,
I will love your motherly instincts,
I will love your acceptance,
I will love your understanding,
I will love your "frustrations",
I will love your timidness,
I will love your stubbornness,
I will love your laughter,
I will love your tears,
I will love your scars,
I will love your flaws,
But most of all;
I will love you.
my eyes sometimes forget youwhen you are gone, my eyes sometimes forget you;
the daily grind goes on; the bus-wheels roll their hides over the asphalt roads;
the snow melts into pools and clings to boots, licking the rubber heels of girls
who sway their hips to music that i only faintly hear; the women smile in coffee shops
and leave stray hairs on the wicker chairs; people pass by windows and their zippers
catch the light; my fingers turn the pages of new books.
somehow your voice finds me in the midst of all of this,
and very softly brings the words
that never really leave me:
this is my love.
when you are gone, my eyes sometimes forget you-
but my heart does not.
Unrequited LoveJust think of me.
Text me good morning and good night.
Text me at lunch just to let me know you're alright.
Wish me a good nap around five or six.
And if you're every bored just give me a call.
I'll make you a fangirl no matter what.
Even if you never admit it I'll let you off.
Meet up with me every now and then.
Never end a conversation with just goodnight or goodbye.
Ask questions and explore life with me.
Support me but don't try to fix me.
Even though I'll try to fix you.
But first I need this dream to come true...
For Your Eyes Only...For your eyes only, I bare my soul.
For your eyes only, I bare my heart.
For your eyes only, I bare my body.
For your eyes only, I bare my mind.
For your eyes only.
For your ears only, I share my dreams.
For your ears only, I share my fears.
For your ears only, I share my sorrow.
For your ears only, I share my joy.
For your ears only.
For your heart only, I give my love.
For your heart only, I give my strength.
For your heart only, I give my passion.
For your heart only, I give my life.
For your heart only.
All of these and more...
are for you--only for you.
The GlowThe Glow
Dictated by Puabi
What brings a glow of fire
To a single woman's eyes?
What curves her red lips
Into a joyful smile?
The promise, the delivery,
The receipt of love.
When she was waiting
Such a long while,
And it comes to her heart
In her surprise.
Imagine, when it comes
To a woman like me,
The brightness of the glow
In her eyes.
Love is loveI love you
There are so many ways to say it.
To mean it.
To believe it.
Yet, so many through it around as if it has no importance.
wo ai ni
To love someone is to put that person first.
To cherish them despite their faults.
To accept their mistakes and help them grow.
To love someone is to be there at their worst
To hold their hand and encourage
To show that things will get better
Ich liebe dich
To love someone is to see their true beauty
To see the love that they hold for others
To accept that others may have it as well
To love some is to help in learning
To teach each other new things
To learn about the world
ya lyublyu tebya
To love someone is to see the hope they pocess
To bring out the ligtht in their lives
To make the stars seem to shine brighter
phom rak khun
To love someone is to see them as they desire
To be able to not care what others think
To know that simply
Love is love
StrippedI long for a life of not a single responsibility, but your precious frail heart.
As we'll stumble upon each other, like onto an atlas of a forgotten district - you'll appreciate the lines on my face for they are an estuary of an ancient river, and I'll cherish the working blisters on your strong hands for they stood out proud of their diligence.
I haven't any other propositions. Affections shouldn't be afflictions, they should be easy and painless, smooth and transparent.
Complexity's never on the table.
Perfection of Monotony is.
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Lilyas has dedicated herself to making our community a brighter place with her vibrant artwork and infectious enthusiasm for interacting with others in our community. It has certainly paid off, as many deviants flock to her page on a daily basis to let her know how much of an inspiration she is. We absolutely agree, and couldn't let all that hard work go without recognition, so it's with great pride that we bestow the Deviousness Award for March 2014, to ... Read More