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About Literature / Hobbyist Member LuciFemale/Croatia Recent Activity
Deviant for 5 Years
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People settle for ugly sweaters, and stupid summer jobs, Pepsi for Coke, and tofu for ham, and sometimes they settle for a love, not as grand.
I'm okay with itchy wool touching my skin, if you'll help me take it off, and put me to bed with passion.
I'm okay with a shitty job, in the season of hell, if we get to lie in your bed, taking lo-fi/mild-erotica polaroids; naked, sweaty, and happy.
I'm okay with awful drinks, I just want us to share it with utter hatred, together.
I'm okay with B12 deficiency, if we go vegan the wrong way together.
I will not settle for someone who is not you.
Things I'll have to tell you some day:
- I don't feel good when I eat.
- I don't really like being touched.
- I panic, I panic, I panic, I panic.
- I was 6.
- I never planned on making it this far.
- I know where my dad keeps the violent kind of drugs.
- All the stuff I fear are pieces of my mind.
- I was 17.
- "Sleeping Beauty" is my favourite fairy tale.
- I know how to handle a nailclipper, and sharp pencils.
- I almost told a doctor about this.
- I was 25.
- I got scared.
- So will you.
-You're so normal.
- And I'll get bad again.
- Maybe I won't.
- I feel like I can trust you, and it feels like love.
I woke up at 7 AM on a Saturday, stuffed my face in cookie dough, poured it down with tea.
I didn't brush my teeth 'til noon, I didn't brush my hair at all.
TV. Internet.
Three minor panic attacks about future in general, and one rather major about losing control.
TV. Internet.
Five wishful scenarios about an okay looking guy, seventeen obsessive glances at my phone. Internet.
More cookie dough, more tea.
Wrote a poem, posted it online, several people liked it. I feel no gratification whatsoever, cause I'm in a terrible mood today, and I'm a terrible person.
Shower. Internet.
Oh. Greenpeace sent me an email. I did nothing about it, cause I'm a terrible person today, and me crying probably caused the Arctic to melt.
Talked on the phone, pretended I was happy.
Internet. Internet. Internet.
Apathy. Apathy. Apathy.
It's freaking freezing, and drizzling, and misty, and it's 5 in the afternoon, and it's that sad time of the year when you don't know if the Sun's ever gonna come out or if anyone ever knew you at all to get you something meaningful for Christmas.
So, I'll just go into town and buy myself black stockings, and green nail varnish, so I can dress up like a slut I think you want me to be, and spend my afternoon lying in bed, playing with myself and the idea of how we should get married, even though I don't even know your name.
you guys, I'm a medical doctor! :D

Don't be scared, I'm good at it.

Anyway, I'll be sure to post more stuff, once I stop crying (you know, fear of responsibilities, fucking up life, major life choices, being 25, being really childish, people to hate, etc.)
  • Mood: Uneasy
  • Listening to: Tonight Alive
  • Reading: some historical novel about Byzantium
  • Watching: Death Note
  • Playing: Rail Rush
  • Eating: everything
  • Drinking: Cedevita

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pankreas67 Featured By Owner Oct 11, 2014
Dancing Pumkin head 4 Dancing Pumkin head 2 Dancing Pumkin head 3 Dancing Pumkin head 5 Dancing Pumkin head 
Rozina Featured By Owner Aug 30, 2014  Hobbyist Photographer
Hvala za fejv :hug: :heart:
Sjemenka Featured By Owner Oct 11, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
naravno :D :heart:
seriousmess Featured By Owner Jul 26, 2014   Writer
And thank you for the favourite and watch as well!
FractalOnWings Featured By Owner Apr 9, 2014
Sjemenko :D
Sjemenka Featured By Owner Apr 9, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
eeeej ti! :D
FractalOnWings Featured By Owner Apr 10, 2014
oaklungs Featured By Owner Jan 2, 2014
thank you very much for the favourite :heart:
Sjemenka Featured By Owner Jan 2, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
you're very much welcome :D
ReyeD33 Featured By Owner Oct 27, 2013  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Tenks za fav! :thanks:
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